"Apocalypse Now"

Hello readers.

The end is near. Very near. In fact, by the time that you finish reading this blog post, it will have already come upon us all. There is no use trying to hide or run for shelter. Resistance is futile.

How can I be so sure? Well, I have taken random Bible verses completely out of context and distorted a their facts, compiled them all together, and then did some vague and convoluted mathematical calculations to give you all the clear and absolute truth that the end is going to happen as soon as you finish reading this blog post.

You people may ask: "Who are you to predict the end of the world???" I respond by saying, "Who am I to NOT predict the end of the world?" This is the 21st Century, and now, more than ever, predicting the end of the world has become all the rage. Simply everyone predicts the end nowadays, and it is such good fun. If the end wasn't coming so quickly, I would have even made a movie about it too.

You people may also quote the Bible, using verses that say that no one knows the exact hour or day that the end will come. However, my prediction of the end shows it differently. I say that the world will end as soon as you finish reading this blog post, which is not an exact hour or day. So, once again, I win.

Assuredly, as I stand before you all, the end is coming!!!
... wait, nevermind...

And what if I am wrong? Well, I'm not.

Thus, I now tell you all to prepare for the end.

The End.

hehe...

The "Power of Quotations"

Wow. It has been really long since I have posted anything. I will be continuing the Penguin Quest saga soon. There has just been this thing that has been bothering me recently:

There seems to be a growing number of "scholars" who enjoy writing with lots of quotations. I certainly do not "like" this. Whenever someone uses "quotation marks," they implicitly belittle the "reader." They "make it sound" like the phrases in "quotations" are "inferior" words that the writer would never use in their "vocabulary." The reader feels "stupid" and "uncultivated," especially when the writer quotes "ginormous" words to sound even more "supercilious."

What is even worse is when they overuse "brackets" in their "quotations" to make the person who was "quoted" sound "utterly and completely idiotic and unable to compose a sentence that makes complete sense." As one man once said, "[Brackets] are [a very odd thing that] you [should not use unless you are] having [trouble making] any [sense of a quote, and they should not be used simply for] fun [...at least that's what I think is good to do, don't you agree]?" Even some "bracketeers [sic]" use them for "manipulative" purposes. For example, this man said "I [do not in any way] love brackets [and wish that people would just stop using them all the time just to get me to say what they want me to say]!"

In "conclusion," I think that many "professional writers" are just too insecure to show their "feelings," and so they feel that they must mask them under layers upon layers of those hideous "double hash marks of doom." I think we readers just need to let them know that we will accept these "people's" vocabularies for "what they are."

"Sincerely,"
Andrew.

Any "thoughts [on my writings that you would like to share]?" Comment below!